ML Podcast

LATEST EPISODE

Military Life- Episode 126

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to Army Spouse Julia who is the Founder of the Home Post a community and website dedicated to helping us with the DETAILS of defence life!

Julia has created a space and resources every Defence Partner has, at some point, tried to wish into existence with her first resource the Defence Family In Case of Emergency card (DFICE) launching this weekend.

I’m talking practical and needed stuff like checklists, guides and organising systems for ALL the things like posting in and posting out, DHA, medical downgrade entitlements, understanding PACMAN and the list goes on.

And the best part is that everything Julia does and will be launching in the coming months is in real speak, explained by a defence partner for defence partners to give us clarity and confidence.

All of those little details we didn’t even know we needed to know. The questions we should be and are allowed to ask. The defence life tips, tricks and hacks you will wonder how you lived without.

Listen to episode 126 of the Military Life Podcast to find out how Julia is using her initial spouse journey and feeling uninformed and unsupported to help others and why a medical emergency was what prompted her to start the Home Post.

Stay across all that Julia is doing over at the Home Post by following along via her Instagram thehomepostau or her Facebook page The Home Post and don’t forget to get on her e-newsletter list here A-SAP because the FREE Defence Family In Case of Emergency card is not a resource you are going to want to miss out on!

Military Life- Episode 125

In this week’s podcast episode, I speak with Navy spouse Rae about future plans with her Defence member, Open Communication and deciding whether Defence life will be a long-term plan.

Rae and I also talk about;

• Meeting each other through an online dating app
• Finding out three weeks in that he was planning on joining the Navy
• Being naive to what becoming a defence couple would mean
• Her partners 2.5 year wait to be accepted into the Navy
• The shift from being a civilian couple to a defence couple
• The impact of COVID, separation due to training and uncertainty
• Being solo and using it as a chance to focus on herself
• Coming back together after training and moving in together
• The importance of communicating with each other
• Figuring out whether defence life is a long-term plan
• The sacrifices and compromises both were willing to make
• Planning a wedding and thinking about starting a family
• Coping with anxiety and the uncertainty of defence life
• The first experience with DHA and how draining the process was
• Feeling supported by other defence partners and online communities
• Looking after her mental health and accessing professional help

Military Life- Episode 124

There is so much to celebrate this week- 3 years of the Military Life Podcast and hitting the 65,000 download mark but what those two milestones actually mean is that for 3 years and a whopping 65,000 times this Podcast has been supporting me and has been supporting you.

It means that we have all listened to over 120 Episodes of Defence Partners telling their stories, being seen and heard, allowing us to share in the ups and downs of Military Life, allowing us to feel that little bit less alone.

It means that for 3 years the Military Life Podcast has been providing all of us with advice, information and insight and that this Podcast has been acknowledging all that we do and sacrifice and juggle and most importantly for 3 years the Podcast has been CONNECTING us.

So get comfy and enjoy listening to some real talk from a handful of Defence Partners who have previously shared their spouse journey with us. Episode 124 features unheard audio asking Defence Partners Catherine, Emily, Fiona, Rae, Elise and Mika an important question…..

NEW to Defence Life? Pop over to the Defence Partner INFO Hub. I’ve translated all that ‘defence speak’, untangled information and laid it all out in one easy-to-navigate space in easy-to-understand language. Defence Partner INFO Hub

Military Life- Episode 123

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to spouse Emily about being new to Defence Life and when I say NEW I mean really new. Emily took the time to chat with me on the day of her partner’s enlistment. DAY 1!

Emily and I also talk about;

• Making the decision, as a family, to join the defence force
• Patiently waiting for an enlistment date, injury delays and the anticipation
• Preparing for her partner’s departure and building a support network
• The enlistment day drop off and the disconnect she felt
• Being too busy to really process the huge changes taking place
• What made her partner want to join the RAAF over the Army and Navy
• The challenges she has faced accessing defence specific information
• Being upset her partner is going away but equally as excited for his new career
• Why she views an 8-month separation as a short-term sacrifice for long term gain
• The impact being apart might have on her partner and their daughter
• Having realistic expectations of what defence life might be like
• Working in healthcare and being able to find employment where ever they go
• Her small business and worrying about starting fresh and building a client base

NEW to Defence Life? Pop over to the Defence Partner Info Hub. I’ve translated all that ‘defence speak’, untangled information and laid it all out in one easy-to-navigate space in easy-to-understand language https://militarylife.com.au/defence-partner-info-hub/

Military Life- Episode 122

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to RAAF spouse Hana about the long road to becoming a defence family, mental health challenges and focusing on the good.

Hana and I also talk about;

• Their chance meeting while they were both working overseas
• How Hana helped uncover her partner’s passion for aircraft
• Arriving back in Australia and the decision to pursue a career in the RAAF
• The long 3-year journey just to get into defence and delays due to injury
• Getting the news her partner finally had a place at Officer Training School
• Welcoming their first baby and what happened when he left just 3 months later
• The stress of solo parenting, coping with anxiety and a postpartum depression diagnosis
• Why Hana put up a good front so her husband didn’t feel bad about being away
• What happened when her husband came home and realised things weren’t ok
• Accessing the medical help, the DMFS Helpline and the support of a Chaplain
• Being an outsider and feeling disconnected from the defence community
• Realising her plan to become a registered builder wasn’t going to fit with defence life
• Figuring out how important work is for her and her mental health
• How Defence Life gave Hana the push she needed to start her own business
• The importance of connecting with the defence community even before posting
• Making friends fast and the importance of building a support network
• Seeing the positive in every situation, surrendering and trusting in the universe
• Posting to Brisbane, everything falling into place and settling into the new location

To find out more about Hana’s biz Suburban Witchery check it out on Instagram here or on Facebook here or via her website here or listen to Hana’s Witch Talks Podcast here.

Military Life- Episode 121 

This week on the Military Life Podcast- Let’s Discuss PART ONE and PART TWO!

Defence Partners Hayley Boswell from Defence Kidz, Julia Michel from The Home Post and Tania Attley from the Raw Psychologist come on the podcast to discuss the Past Weeks Events, a Damaging and Hurtful Narrative & How to Move Forward Constructively.

We also talk about;

• Dealing with emotions and not repressing our feelings by avoiding them
• How we often go into planning mode when an unexpected operation occurs
• Why the brain hates the unknown and is constantly seeking balance
• Uncertainty, danger and the worry when your defence member gets the call
• How planning mode distracts us from our core emotions
• Why 24/7 media coverage of world events isn’t always a good thing
• Why building a support network with people you know will have empathy is key
• Standby mode and coping with the unknown through disconnection
• Why shutting off is a way of mentally preparing for the defence member to leave
• Wanting the separation to start so that they can come home already
• How the ADF community is feeling after what happened in the media last week
• Setting boundaries with news media and limiting contact
• When the sentiment out in the community quickly turns to blame
• Why we tend to experience the stress response flight, fight or freeze
• Understanding that the brain can tolerate a particular level of stress
• What happens when you push past that stress level into shutdown
• Why disconnecting from your partner too many times can have an impact
• Communication and verbalising what your needs are
• Setting boundaries with friends and family and being assertive
• Community outrage and how to process the misdirected anger
• How the defence spouse community is feeling right now
• Confirmation bias and how that plays into some of the narratives in the media
• Being mentally prepared to engage in discussion or advocate in your own way
• The long-lasting impact the past week could have on the ADF community
• Why it is important to help the community to make new connections
• The importance of continuing the conversation and continuing to change the narrative
• Educating the community about who the ADF are, what they do and the sacrifices defence members and families make

To follow Hayley from Defence Kidz click here

To follow Julia from The Home Post click here

To follow Tania from The Raw Psychologist click here

Military Life- Episode 120

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to new spouse Mika about the first year of defence life and making long-distance work.

Mika and I also talk about;

• Starting off as friends and building strong foundations
• Making the decision to start dating while Alex was away at training
• Having big discussions about future plans early on
• Not seeing each other for 7 months due to COVID and border closures
• How being separated helped with their communication
• Staying flexible with plans and accepting what you can’t control
• Making the decision to stay separated until Alex is posted to one location
• What being a Submariners partner is likely to be like
• Looking forward to being part of the tight-knit Submariner community in WA
• Plans to build strong support networks once they do post to WA
• Why their relationship is yet to be recognised by defence
• Making sure they both have their own interests to focus on
• Their excitement to be together and start living defence life

Military Life- Episode 119

We discuss;

• Why it was important their research focused on Partners and Families of Veterans
• What ‘Moral Injury’ means and how it relates to Partners and Families
• The main findings of their research including families feeling unsupported & invisible
• Why Partners and Families are the first to notice a significant change in a Veteran
• The second-hand trauma and mental health impacts often experienced by Partners & Families
• Why its important Partners and Families also receive support and services
• What their research found when it comes to Veterans actually seeking support
• The role Partners and Families play in seeking support for or encouraging Veterans
• The majority of research participants experiencing a tipping point
• The barriers in seeking support once Partners, Families & Veterans reach a tipping point
• How organisations fail to recognise the significant role Partners & Families play
• What Partners and Families need from related support organisations
• The importance of acknowledging the critical role Partners & Families play
• Why they choose not to use the word disorder when talking about PTSD
• Where to from here and a way forward that considers Partners & Families

To read the ‘Supporting your veteran or emergency services first responder in help-seeking for mental health concerns: a guide for families’ click here

To find out more about Lived Experience Australia visit the website here

To find out more about Military and Emergency Services Health Australia (MESHA) visit the website here

Military Life- Episode 118

Fiona and I also talk about;

• Moving in together and their first posting to Toowoomba
• Getting engaged after living together for 3 months
• The reality of defence life setting in during their second posting in Wagga
• Finding meaningful employment and the varied experience gained
• Feeling unable to progress professionally due to frequent moves
• The ups and downs of moving 12 times in 15 years
• The signs that led Fiona down the home school path despite hesitation
• Why defence life compliments home schooling and works for them
• How home schooling allows their family to get the most out of a location
• Career goals with kids, home schooling and the balance
• The emotional and mental toll so many moves took on Fiona
• Feeling isolated and alone and deciding to ask for help
• The help Fiona accessed and focusing on her needs
• Recognising her value and acknowledging her sacrifices

Military Life- Episode 117

Jenny and I also talk about;

• The type of support Chaplains provide to not only the Defence member but also Spouses
• Why you should think of Chaplains as friends who offer a confidential listening ear
• Defence members or spouses not needing to be in crisis to be supported by Chaplains
• Why you don’t need to be religious to receive support from Chaplains
• Some of the main reasons Defence couples reach out for support and guidance
• The ways Chaplains can connect Defence Families with other supports like DMFS
• Confidentiality and why anything discussed is off the record (except if someone poses a danger to themselves or others)
• How Chaplains support Defence members and their wellbeing while on deployment
• Why communication is 90% of a relationship and how to use owned language in a positive way
• How Defence couples can build solid foundations and connect before and during separation
• Expectations and getting on the same page to help with the challenges of Defence life
• The ways Chaplains can help Defence families connect to their faith in their posting location
• The Triple P Positive Parenting program and why it is well suited to Defence families
• The importance of community and connection for Defence partners

Chaplains, All services- To contact a Chaplain please call the Defence Service Centre on 1800 333 362 and ask for the Duty Chaplain in your area.

*Jenny is a Navy Chaplain and while she doesn’t speak for Chaplains connected with Army and Air Force the support Chaplains offer and the role they play across the services is similar.

Military Life- Episode 116

Vicki, Jarod and I also talk about;

• How being a dual serving couple works when you both deploy regularly
• Feeling like ships in the night and working on good communication
• The juggle of both being defence members and starting a family
• Jarod stepping into the role of the solo parent when Vicki deployed
• What it was like for Vicki to deploy when their son was 18 months old
• The bond that Jarod and their son formed while Vicki was away
• How Vicki stepped out of the Mum role and into deployed ADF member
• Creating boundaries when it came to Vicki contacting home & unreliable comms
• Coping with the transition home, a now 3 year old child and finding her place
• How both Vicki and Jarod now have a good understanding of what both experience
• The juggle of trying to get posted to the same location when you are both serving
• Vicki’s decision to discharge and the transition from ADF member to civilian
• Finding her feet, reserve time and figuring out her future career moves
• Learning to be a family, living together and good communication
• MWDU and how hard it was for Jarod to leave his family every Sunday
• Posting to Sydney and feeling grateful to finally be together

Military Wife Life- Episode 115

PART 2 of Defence Partners Navigating the Pandemic

They all had varied experiences. Some had a surprisingly positive story to tell while others were understandably pushed to the absolute brink, for various reasons, including long separations, uncertainty, isolation and support and services that found it hard to move with the ever-changing situation and needs of Defence Families.

Lessons were learnt and some hard decisions, going forward, may have to be made about how Defence life will work for us in the future but overwhelmingly it is clear that we all just did our best when faced with some impossible situations.

These are the stories of Defence Partners Dani, Sally, Kim, Emma and Catherine.

Military Wife Life- Episode 114

PART 1 of Defence Partners Navigating the Pandemic

They all had varied experiences. Some had a surprisingly positive story to tell while others were understandably pushed to the absolute brink, for various reasons, including long separations, uncertainty, isolation and support and services that found it hard to move with the ever-changing situation and needs of Defence Families.

Lessons were learnt and some hard decisions, going forward, may have to be made about how Defence life will work for us in the future but overwhelmingly it is clear that we all just did our best when faced with some impossible situations.

These are the stories of Defence Partners Chantelle, Stephanie, Julia (along with her Army husband Jai) and Lauren.

Next Week- Part 2 of podcast episode Defence Partners Navigating the Pandemic, the last MWL ep for 2021, will be available to listen to.

Military Wife Life- Episode 113

Minister Gee and I also have an open and real conversation about:

• His thoughts on partners and families being key contributors to defence capability
• The impact partners and families have on the well-being of the defence member
• The value he sees defence partners and families providing the community & defence
• How current policy and programs fit with the value partners and families provide
• His take on the key issues and challenges defence partners and families currently face
• The opportunities the Minister sees when it comes to solving those issues & challenges
• The invaluable insight he got from the recent National Defence Partner Roundtable
• Why we need a more comprehensive understanding of the partner and family experience
• The steps the Minister is taking to introduce a possible Ministerial Advisory Council to help inform policy
• How to gather the right data on defence partners and families to shape effective policy
• Partnering with the Australian Institute of Family Studies to redesign the ADF Family Survey
• Why it’s time for more innovation in the way that programs are designed & delivered
• Looking at trialling Coworking hubs on defence bases to support and connect defence partners
• The role the Veteran Wellbeing Centres will play for current defence partners and families
• How partner employment contributes to ADF workforce development & why supporting career portability is key
• How the Minister thinks defence partners and families have fared during COVID
• A commitment to seriously push for the introduction of a National Defence Families day
• Whether it might be time to review defence partner and family policy in a major way

Military Wife Life- Episode 112

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to two amazing women in positions of leadership about why it’s up to all of us, especially employers, to challenge gender bias and inequality.

Chair of the Defence Bank Board Fran Raymond and Defence Bank Chief People Officer Kristen Bugeja talk about;

– Why it’s important employers talk about gender equality

– This year’s International Women’s Day theme ‘Choose to Challenge’

– Supporting defence partners into meaningful employment

– Studies that show organisations with women in positions of leadership outperform others

– What other organisations can learn from Defence Bank when it comes to supporting defence partners in the workplace

– Why girls and women need equal access to good education and good jobs, including leadership roles

– The importance of constantly reviewing and challenging policies, training initiatives and an organisations culture

– The steps Defence Bank have taken to support and understand the needs of their defence partner employees

– How COVID has changed the way Defence Bank operates and has opened up even more opportunities for their defence partner employees

To find out about career opportunities at Defence Bank click through the below link.

https://www.defencebank.com.au/about-us/careers/

Military Wife Life- Episode 111

Catherine and I also talk about;

• Meeting her now-husband in an unusual way in an unexpected place
• Becoming friends and learning that they had so much in common
• Being upfront and honest about the extra challenges they may face as a defence couple
• Dating, becoming engaged soon after and just months later getting married
• Spending more time apart than together during their first year of marriage
• An overseas posting with 3 weeks notice and how she made it work
• Coming to terms with leaving her job and not working while overseas
• Making the most of their time overseas and the challenge of making friends
• A possible promotion on the horizon and what that will mean for their family
• What is best for their family and whether that includes defence
• Her teaching career and being upfront with employers about long term commitments
• The challenge of making friends and nurturing relationships when posting in and out
• Not knowing what support you need until you need it and figuring out how to find it

Military Wife Life- Episode 110

Sandi and I talk about;

• What her vision is when it comes to stepping into the role of Defence Family Advocate of Australia for DFA (Defence Families of Australia)
• Why it’s important that there is an advocacy group for defence partners and families
• How DFA remains independent of defence and provides frank advice to the Minister
• DFA’s advocacy pillars and what DFA will be pushing hardest on in the immediate future
• How DFA know what to advocate for on behalf of defence partners and families
• Why you don’t need to have personal experience to contact DFA about a defence partner or family issue you would like to bring attention to
• How defence partners and families can have their say on particular topics or issues of concern
• What the next 12 months look like for DFA and advocating for defence partners and families
• DFA’s short term and long-term goals for defence partners and families
• How DFA ensures they are representative of the defence partner and family community
• Why DFA is working on new opportunities to make it easier for defence partners and families to have a voice
• The work DFA have been doing to create an Advocacy Map due to be released in late November 2021
• How the advocacy map will be used as a tool by DFA to empower defence partners and families to get involved
• Some of the key area’s DFA has had an impact on in recent times thanks to their advocacy
• DFA’s involvement when it comes to the Royal Commission into Veteran suicide and why it is important to provide a voice for defence families and veterans
• Her thoughts on whether it’s time family policy, support & services undergo a review
• Why DFA’s employment program ended and what is happening next when it comes to DFA and partner employment
• How Defence partners and families stay informed about all that DFA is currently advocating for

To find out more about DFA and the work that they do or to talk to them about an issue or concern you would like DFA to advocate for you or the wider defence community on, get in contact with your State/Territory rep by visiting the DFA website. Or to stay across any DFA updates and the release of their Advocacy Map sign up for their newsletter here or jump across to their socials and follow along.

Military Wife Life- Episode 109

Elise and I also talk about;

• How she met her Defence Member by chance at the races
• Forming a great friendship and both getting busy with their careers
• Losing touch and then eventually reconnecting and deciding to be together
• Getting engaged, married and having a baby all in a few years
• The reality of Defence life and getting comfortable with being solo a lot
• Deployment challenges and refusing to accept surface-level communication
• The isolation of working from home, solo parenting and the impact on her mental health
• Deciding not to miss out on life just because her Husband wasn’t home
• How connecting with the Defence community had an unexpected and positive impact
• Finding support and friendship with people who GOT IT
• The frustration she felt knowing her career would always come second
• The importance of finding a way for her career to work with defence life
• Deciding to start a business to help defence couples better communicate
• Why her online program Partners Elsewhere is about prevention to avoid crisis
• Partnering with a Psychologist to help defence couples build strong foundations
• How her program helps defence couples to understand what each other is feeling
• Why the program aims to make the defence members transition home after separation easier and the flow on
• How to get your defence member on board with giving the program a go

To find out more about Elise’s business PE Health and her specific online program for Defence Couples called Partners Elsewhere Military Relationship Program click on the link below.

https://www.pehealth.org/military-couples

For those interested in signing up for the program Elise is offering the MWL Community a 50% off discount code for the first 100 couples to sign up to the Partners Elsewhere Military Relationship Program. Use code MWL50

Military Wife Life- Episode 108

So after meeting at a function earlier this year and bonding over our defence partner experiences I took a chance and asked this week’s Podcast Guest Her Excellency Mrs Linda Hurley if she might consider coming on the MWL podcast to tell her story.

Who better to have on the MWL podcast? After being a Defence Partner for over 40 years Mrs Hurley has experienced it all. More than 25 moves, DHA housing, deployments, juggling kids solo, finding meaningful employment, making friends, homecomings. All of it.

Later on, Mrs Hurley would continue to navigate defence life and work as a teacher while her husband climbed the ranks culminating in being appointed Vice Chief of the Defence Force and then Chief of the Defence Force before retiring from the Army in 2014 and going on to be appointed Governor of NSW and most recently Governor-General of Australia.

When we met at the function in person, Mrs Hurley and I chatted and laughed and took comfort in that sense of shared knowing. That knowing that doesn’t even need to be explained between defence partners. We know the excitement and adventure that is often balanced with so much unknown and the feeling of new. We know the challenges faced and the celebrations experienced. The leaving and the coming home. The tears. The amazing community. The moving and the starting over. It is that sense that we know even without explanation that brings so many of us, defence partners, instant deep connection. We just know.

Mrs Hurley may now live a very public life alongside His Excellency, General the Honourable David Hurley but I wanted to ask her about the life that came before the fancy titles. The life that included a defence house in Wagga, posting adventures overseas, emotional reunions and welcome home dinners at Pizza Hut. I wanted to hear about her life and her defence partner journey. I was over the moon that when asked to come on the MWL Podcast, without pause, Mrs Hurley’s answer was “of course, anything I can do to help spouses.”

I’m honoured to welcome Mrs Hurley onto the MWL Podcast. This is her Defence Partner Story.

Military Wife Life- Episode 107

Chantelle and I also talk about;

• How a chance meeting would lead to a whirlwind romance that Chantelle tried her best to avoid
• Why it took her Defence member 6 months to tell her he wasn’t just a “government” employee and was in the Navy
• Coming to terms with now being in love with a defence member and someone who will go away for months on end
• How an overseas trip for work and being away from each other helped Chantelle make her mind up about her feelings
• Being together 6 months, going defacto, moving in together and deciding to move states together
• The isolation Chantelle felt after moving to a location where she knew no one
• Realising what being a defence partner really meant and making the transition
• Coming to terms with the amount of time spent apart and finding out separations aren’t just deployments but are also workups, courses and more
• Getting on the same page and managing differing expectations
• The positive impact a trainer from Cerberus had on her defence member and their relationship
• Finding out she was 5 months pregnant with her second child a short time after moving away from family and friends
• Her family having a hard time coming to terms with her changed goals and priorities
• Working up the courage to go along to a Defence community house and the positive impact it had on her mental health and life
• Finding her community after struggling with the isolation of defence life
• The difference having support makes during deployments, separations and on hard days
• The importance of being your own person, doing your own thing, focusing on what you can control and realising you have a choice

Military Wife Life- Episode 106

Damien and I also talk about;

• How his experience as a military kid and the death of a mate led him to start the Younger Heroes
• Why starting an organisation that brought parents and children together for a 3 day/2 night experience in nature was the answer
• The time, research and tears that went into developing the Younger Heroes program
• How the Younger Heroes program allows current and former ADF members the space to reconnect with their children in a technology-free environment
• The change the program has undergone along the way and why it went from being a Father/Son program to including all ADF members and their children
• How the program works on creating and strengthening the bonds with your children
• The household trauma some children experience watching a parent face mental health struggles and why this program helps
• The lack of support and programs that exist for Veteran parents and their children
• Teaching parents and children how to communicate and talk about their problems
• Why the program isn’t just for those Veterans who have PTSD but also for those who have had deployments, separations and periods of disconnect from their children
• The importance of having a positive impact on a child’s wellbeing early on to prevent future mental health challenges or trauma
• Future plans for Younger Heroes and why Damien would love to offer a program for Defence Partners and Defence Families.
• Who can signup for the Younger Heroes program and how

To find out more about the Younger Heroes program or to signup for a future program visit the website by clicking this link

Military Wife Life- Episode 105

Donna and I also talk about;

• Meeting each other, buying a house within 6 months and moving in together
• Being legally blind and recognised as a dependent with special needs
• The extra challenges Donna needs to consider when it comes to being legally blind and moving
• How Donna learnt to enjoy her own company early on in their relationship
• Why having an understanding employer when it comes to defence life and having a disability has made all the difference
• Deciding MWDU and not posting with the defence member will work best for their family
• Why being able to continue her career and have a family support network close is just as important as her defence member’s career
• The sacrifices Donna would have to make if she did post with her defence member and why MWDU is the best choice at the moment
• Why having the ability to change her mind about being MWDU gives Donna comfort
• The difficulty and overwhelm in accessing support and services via defence organisations and the happy balance Donna has now found
• How COVID restrictions and lockdowns have had a positive impact on her family with regards to postings and staying together as a family
• Why going with the flow as a spouse is a good thing but not necessarily easy when you are a planner

Military Wife Life- Episode 104

Rachael and I also talk about;

• How Frontline Yoga started and why they offer FREE classes for Veterans, their families and spouses
• The range of physical and mental health benefits practising Yoga can have especially for the defence community
• Why practising Yoga alongside other support therapies can reduce your baseline of stress and have so many flow-on effects
• Seeing Yoga as good for your body and your mind and not something that is only for a certain type of person
• Research that shows 10 minutes of Yoga a day has similar scientific studied effects as medication
• How attending a Yoga class can connect, create community and a support network with those facing similar challenges
• How Yoga can have an unexpected positive impact on a better night’s sleep
• Some of the barriers people have that stops them from seeing Yoga as an option
• The introduction of Zoom Yoga classes during COVID
• Future plans to keep providing a range of classes in various locations & online
• The hope to take Frontline Yoga classes to defence personnel at bases around the country

To find out how you can take part in a Frontline Yoga class in person or online click through to the website here

Military Wife Life- Episode 103

Emma and I also talk about;

• Why she was the one to suggest an Army career to her partner
• Going from being a civilian couple to a defence couple
• Focusing on her studies and how Emma and her partner made it work
• Going from living together to living apart during training
• The plan to reunite, moving and finding her feet in a new location
• What happened when her partner changed direction
• How COVID had a positive impact on Emma’s plans and fast-tracked her partner’s training
• Finding work, setting up her own business and making connections
• Falling pregnant and posting into a new location
• Feeling her way through their first posting
• Why the time Emma had put into online connections made finding friends in her new location so much easier
• Re-establishing her business in a new location and why she decided to set up a Biz Network to help others
• The reason Emma set up her Biz Network in partnership with another spouse and future plans
• The Support the Biz Network provides for Spouses and Veterans Business owners
• Juggling Mum life, being a biz owner, defence life and her partner being away

If you would like to find out more or connect in with the Townsville Defence Biz Network pop over to their Facebook page here

Ready to join the MWL community? Click through the link to get connected xx     www.militarylife.com.au

Military Wife Life- Episode 102

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to Army Spouse Anne about the unfolding and uncertain situation in Afghanistan.

Anne and I also talk about;

• Supporting her husband through two deployments in Afghanistan
• Why each mission was different but both had the same intent
• The immense pride she feels knowing her husband improved the living conditions of the Afghan people
• Why strengthening the education system, improving the rights of women, developing their infrastructure and broadening the Afghan people’s freedoms was priority
• How she navigated overseas postings knowing the danger her husband was in
• The lack of understanding among the civilian community of what defence life is and entails
• The emotional toll the stigma of war itself carries and the varied opinions
• Why her husband would go into “soldier mode” ahead of a deployment
• What happened when her husband was involved in an incident during his first deployment
• Not knowing if her husband was ok and finding out another soldier had been killed
• Why surrounding herself with defence spouses was the best support she could ask for
• Her husband’s commitment to the cause and why the current situation in Afghanistan is devastating
• How the defence and veteran community is coming together to support each other in light of what is happening in Afghanistan
• Why the work and sacrifices made by the defence members who served in Afghanistan was NOT a waste
• Coming to terms with all that is happening in Afghanistan and finding a way forward
• The importance of talking with your mates, checking in on your fellow defence friends and reaching out for support when needed

Please note: Anne’s name and voice have been changed to protect her identity.

Support Services

FREE Counselling for ADF Members, Veterans and Defence Partners- Call Open Arms day or night (7 days) on 1800 011 046

FREE anonymous counselling line- Call Safe Zone Support day or night (7 days) on 1800 142 072

Lifeline– Call day or night (7 days) on 13 11 14

Kids Helpline– Call day or night (7 days) on 1800 551 800

The Defence Family Helpline (DMFS) call day or night (7 days) on 1800 624 608

Chaplains, All services- To contact a Chaplain please call the Defence Service Centre on 1800 333 362 and ask for the Duty Chaplain in your area.

Military Wife Life- Episode 101

Kirsty and I also talk about;

-How being a former Defence Partner herself allows her to understand the extra complexity that comes with breakdown of marriage when you are a Defence couple.

-The difference between Mediation, Collaborative law and Litigation

-Why Kirsty encourages her clients to stay out of court to not only save time and money but also their mental health

– Relocating, Consent, Child Support, Custody arrangements and Defence Life

– How a parenting agreement works with the changing nature of defence life and the unknown

-Moving past hurt, frustration and anger to make the best decisions for you and your family

–Legal Aid, Relationships Australia and the other options available to Defence Partners who don’t have access to funds

-The lack of control going through the Family Law system creates and how to avoid court and costly litigation

-Splitting assets (including super) and why being a stay at home parent or care giver is seen as a huge contribution and does not disadvantage you

-Why Kirsty wants to show people another way of proceeding with separation and divorce through her Calm and Kind method

-Kirsty’s online course The Peaceful Pathway, One on One Coaching Program and her book ‘What are We Fighting For’ and how they are helping couples take control of their separation and divorce

To connect with Kirsty and find out more about her services and available resources head over to her website here

To purchase Kirsty’s Book click here

Military Wife Life- Episode 100 PART 2

What a journey this podcast has taken me and all of you on.

There is so much to celebrate this week- 2 years of the Podcast, 100 Episodes and 50,000 Downloads but what this week’s milestones actually mean is that for 2 years this Podcast has been supporting me and has been supporting you.

It means that we have all listened to 100 Episodes of Defence Partners telling their stories, being seen and heard, allowing us to share in the ups and downs of Military Life, allowing us to feel that little bit less alone.

It means that for 2 years the Military Wife Life Podcast has been providing all of us with advice, information and insight.

It means that for 2 years the Podcast has been acknowledging all that we do and sacrifice and juggle and most importantly for 2 years and 100 episodes the Podcast has been connecting us.

So get comfy and enjoy listening to some of the best advice, words of wisdom, tips and tricks, insider info, real talk from a handful of Defence Partners who have previously shared their spouse journey with us.

Here is Military Wife Life the Podcast Episode 100 Part 2!

Military Wife Life- Episode 100 PART 1

What a journey this podcast has taken me and all of you on.

There is so much to celebrate this week- 2 years of the Podcast, 100 Episodes and 50,000 Downloads but what this week’s milestones actually mean is that for 2 years this Podcast has been supporting me and has been supporting you.

It means that we have all listened to 100 Episodes of Defence Partners telling their stories, being seen and heard, allowing us to share in the ups and downs of Military Life, allowing us to feel that little bit less alone.

It means that for 2 years the Military Wife Life Podcast has been providing all of us with advice, information and insight.

It means that for 2 years the Podcast has been acknowledging all that we do and sacrifice and juggle and most importantly for 2 years and 100 episodes the Podcast has been connecting us.

So get comfy and enjoy listening to some of the best advice, words of wisdom, tips and tricks, insider info, real talk from a handful of Defence Partners who have previously shared their spouse journey with us.

Here is Military Wife Life the Podcast Episode 100!

Military Wife Life- Episode 99

Racheal and I talk about;

• How and why DEFGLIS started
• Who DEFGLIS support and represent
• How DEFGLIS has changed and evolved over the years
• The impact DEFGLIS has had on the lives of LGBTI defence members and their families
• Why it is important to have a group like DEFGLIS
• The safe and secure space DEFGLIS offers for LGBTI members and their families
• Why DEFGLIS are working to stamp out discrimination in the workplace
• Some of the ways DEFGLIS have helped changed Defence policy & practices
• Why it is so important DEFGLIS continue to advocate for policy change
• The annual events DEFGLIS run to help connect the LGBTI defence community
• The success of this years first DEFGLIS Day Out and the hope for it to be an annual event for DEFGLIS families & the wider defence community
• The impact not feeling as though you can come to work as your whole self creates
• Why feeling misunderstood or unsupported at work leads to a 30% reduction in output and how that impacts capability
• How to be an ally for fellow defence families who are part of the LGBTI community
• How those who are part of the LGBTI Defence community can reach out for help and support

If you would like to find out more information about DEFGLIS or pass on the links to someone who might be interested there are a few ways to do so;

Website- https://www.defglis.com.au/

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DEFGLIS

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/defglis/

Military Wife Life- Episode 98

Jeni and I also talk about;

• Being together 13 years before Defence came into the picture

• How looking for a career change led her Husband to the Navy

• Researching the impact Defence life would have on their family

• How hearing the experiences of other defence families was invaluable

• Why joining the Navy took months of paperwork and interview’s

• How Jeni felt once her Husband was finally accepted & given 1-month notice

• The disconnect Jeni felt when she wasn’t included in the process by Defence

• Having to figure out solo parenting and living without her husband

• Coming to terms with taking on the mental and physical load of the household

• Figuring out her capacity and pulling back where she could to prevent burnout

• Learning about and dealing with Toll and DHA ahead of their first move

• Going from a full-time wage to living on an Officer training wage

• How Jeni plans on securing meaningful employment in their new location

• Going with the flow when it comes to Defence Life and future postings

Military Wife Life- Episode 97

Leanne and I also talk about;

• The Defence Bank Foundation and why they decided to support the DCD program
• What the DCD program is and how it supports dogs, inmates and Veterans
• Why the program decided to only use rescue dogs and give them a second chance at life
• The benefits inmates at correctional facilities gain from helping train the dogs
• The time, effort and money it takes to train a dog ready for a Veteran
• Why the dogs have just as much impact on the lives of the Veterans family members as they do on the Veterans lives
• How the support of the Defence Bank Foundation has resulted in over 50 dogs being trained and homed with Veterans
• The extensive process to match a dog with a Veteran and their individual needs
• Why so many Veterans leave getting an assistance dog as a last resort
• How Defence Bank is further supporting the program by donating even more
• Why any Veteran living with mental health challenges or PTSD should consider getting an assistance dog

To find out more about the Defence Bank Foundation or the Defence Community Dogs program follow below;

https://www.defencebank.com.au/foundation

http://www.dcdogs.com.au

And to find out more about how you can support the Defence Community Dogs Program through a Defence Bank low rate credit card visit the website here

https://www.defencebank.com.au/creditcard

Military Wife Life- Episode 96

Matt and Mel also talk about;

• Meeting 1 week before Matt was due to post interstate
• Having big conversations and committing to long-distance 1 week in
• Making sacrifices, leaving family and moving to be with Matt 
• How Mel established herself in a new location through social groups
• The reality of future postings and the strain on their relationship
• Thinking about leaving defence and focusing on family
• Mel supporting Matt with his decision to leave defence
• Why Matt started preparing for transition years before it came time
• Finding an opportunity and the quick 3 week turn around to transition
• What actually happens when you decide to discharge
• Navigating the help and support available when transitioning
• Why Matt decided to help others transitioning by starting a podcast
• The importance of hearing others transition stories
• Why every defence member should plan for transition ahead of time
• What the future holds, planning for a family and building a forever home

To find out how to listen or more info about Matt’s podcast Service and Beyond follow along below

https://www.facebook.com/serviceandbeyond

https://www.instagram.com/serviceandbeyondpodcast/

Military Wife Life- Episode 95

Meagan and I also talk about;

• Being high school sweethearts and both going their separate ways
• Reuniting years later while both visiting family
• Deciding to be together while living on opposite sides of the country
• Long distance dating and trying to plan to atleast live in the same state
• The push and pull of Meagan’s medical career and her husband’s defence career
• Starting a family, being a junior Doctor and posting in and out
• Changing and coming to terms with new longterm plans
• Getting clear on her values and what she really wanted for her life
• How a change in direction resulted in Meagan starting her own business
• Why it is important to focus on your values to avoid harboring resentment
• How Meagan is helping Defence Partners through her business The Life Doctor

To find out more about Meagan’s business The Life Doctor or to follow along visit;

https://www.meagankruger.com/

https://www.facebook.com/drmeagankruger

https://www.instagram.com/dr.meagan.kruger/

Military Wife Life- Episode 94   PART 2

TRIGGER WARNING- There is some discussion of suicide in this episode. If this episode brings anything up for you please contact FREE ADF mental health service Open Arms on 1800 011 046 or in case of emergency call 000.

Kaz and I also talk about;

• A chance meeting that triggered one of her husband’s worst episodes
• What happened when he went missing and was out of communication
• Fearing the worst and the devastating phone call Kaz received
• How her husband’s diagnosis and treatment settled things down
• Dealing with being on high alert all the time while living normal life
• Not knowing where to turn for help and support
• Her Husband fighting against the help and being retriggered
• Finally coming to an understanding of what triggers her husband
• Getting on the same page and working as a team
• Opening up conversation for others through her book Broken Soldier
• What the future holds for Kaz and her family

Click on the link below if you would like to follow Kaz and Matt’s journey.

https://www.facebook.com/mybrokensoldier

Or to find out more about Kaz’s book (mentioned in this ep) My Broken Soldier- The untold story of life beyond the front line click through to her website

http://www.kazpage.com.au/

Military Wife Life- Episode 93   PART 1

TRIGGER WARNING- There is some discussion of suicide in this episode. If this episode brings anything up for you please contact FREE ADF mental health service Open Arms on 1800 011 046 or in case of emergency call 000.

Kaz and I also talk about;

• Her husband joining reserves to ease them into defence life
• How a few weekends of reserve time turned into so much more
• Back to back deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan
• Her husband’s intent to transfer to full-time Army and join the SAS
• How an accident while on a 10-day training exercise changed everything
• What happened when Kaz received the call to say her husband had been injured
• Why her husband ended up going back out field and what happened when he returned home
• The injuries he sustained and being misdiagnosed for months and months
• Her husband reaching breaking point with his pain and not knowing where to turn
• The long fight to get the help and support her husband needed
• The impact his injury had on him and their family
• Finally receiving a diagnosis and why that caused her husband to spiral
• Her husband wishing he had died on deployment and what Kaz did next
• How Kaz stepped up for her husband to demand the help he needed

Click on the link below if you would like to follow Kaz and Matt’s journey.

https://www.facebook.com/mybrokensoldier

Or to find out more about Kaz’s book (mentioned in this ep) My Broken Soldier- The untold story of life beyond the front line click through to her website

http://www.kazpage.com.au/

Military Wife Life- Episode 92

Kim and I also talk about;

• Meeting her husband while he was a Navy recruit
• Living in the same posting location back to back
• Having the support and understanding of her military family
• The stress of her husband being medically discharged & finding a civilian job
• Why her husband decided to get back in after being medically discharged
• Going from full-time Navy to Army Reserve
• How Kim juggles having a foot in civvy world and defence world
• The lack of support or understanding for Reserve families
• Struggling with her identity as a defence partner
• The amazing bonds and friendships formed thanks to defence life

Military Wife Life- Episode 91

Cheree and I also talk about;

• The first posting experience and her military member deploying within a few months.
• Building a support network and the lifelong friends she made on the first posting.
• The challenges she has faced while searching and securing employment.
• An international posting to Hawaii and the amazing experiences they had.
• The difference in spouse and family support overseas and in Australia.
• The pre-planning that goes into posting and resettling when you have kids with special needs.
• Taking defence life as it comes and making the best of it.
• Reaching out for support even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.
• Why Cheree gets involved in events and catchups in an effort to help others.
• Their next posting and preparing for sea time and separation after back to back shore postings.

Military Wife Life- Episode 90

Just reading about the connections and the amazing things spouses are doing that are prompting their friends and family to nominate them, is truly a privilege.

This weeks podcast episode is about the stories behind the Lots of Love Box nominations.

I talk to spouse Chantelle, a Lots of Love box recipient. Chantelle details the connection and deep friendship she formed with the spouse who went out of their way to nominate her despite, at the time, facing their own loss and tragedy.

I also talk to Defence Banks Michael O’Reilly about the importance of acknowledging all that spouses do and why Defence Bank wanted to support the Lots of Love Boxes.

And spouse Julia, also a Lots of Love box recipient talks about the fast friendship she formed with the spouse who nominated her and the amazing feeling of knowing someone just “gets it” and has your back through the challenges and celebrations of Defence life.

To find out how to nominate a spouse for a Lots of Love Box click through to the Military Wife Life website here

To find out more about Defence Bank and the great work they’re doing in the Defence community click through to the website here

Military Wife Life- Episode 89

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to RAAF spouse Nicole about why a mindset shift has totally changed the way she experiences defence life.

Nicole and I also talk about;

• Meeting her now Husband while he was studying at the Australian Defence Force Academy (ADFA)
• Realising that the member doesn’t just sign up for a job but a lifestyle
• Moving to Newcastle for her husbands first posting and not being formally recognised as a couple
• Trying to find housing, work and friends while not yet being entitled to any support
• Feeling like she didn’t fit and questioning whether the defence lifestyle was for her
• Deciding to go forward with a different mindset to help her see the positives
• Why having regular check-ins on her mental health is so important 
• What it’s like to live on base in Richmond NSW and why it is a tick on her defence bucket list
• Why signing up for spouse related activities, even if they aren’t your thing, can lead to great friendships

Military Wife Life- Episode 88

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to NSW Legacy President Nikki Hollis about how Legacy started, what they’re about and who they support.

Nikki and I also talk about;

• How a dependant of an ADF member or Veteran can access support
• Why a dependant can put their hand up for support at anytime
• What you can access support through Legacy for and the process
• Breaking down the misconception that Legacy is only for older widows
• The help they offer for ADF families experiencing hardship due to the member or veteran having a physical disability or mental illness
• Why Legacy need our support through donations now more than ever
• Their major yearly fundraising efforts- Badge Week and Anzac Day
• How to volunteer as a Legatee and the difference you can make

To find out more information about Legacy and the specific support services they offer click through to the Legacy website here or call 1800 LEGACY.

Military Wife Life- Episode 87

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to spouse Amanda about why she doesn’t allow her Army Husbands job to control her life.

Amanda and I also talk about;

• Not really knowing, in the beginning, what it meant to be an Army spouse
• Why she was hesitant to even acknowledge she was a spouse 
• Moving in together and experiencing a deployment 6 months into the relationship
• A horrible experience with another Army wife and how it impacted her forming a support network
• Being MWDU for the majority of their relationship and why it works for their family
• 3 kids and 6 deployments and how she juggles being solo, working and family life alone
• Why going back to work fulltime after her 3rd baby just wasn’t going to work
• The physical toll juggling it all had on her and the positive changes she made 
• Starting her own online business to allow her to slow down while continuing her career

Military Wife Life- Episode 86

In this week’s podcast episode, I talk to RAAF spouse Katie about being posted to Tindal, the location at the bottom of her preference sheet.

Katie and I also talk about;

• Having no knowledge of defence life and going into the relationship blind
• Moving out of home in NSW to relocating to WA on her first posting with her military member
• Finding her feet in WA and why it is where Katie and her Husband would love to end up
• Why Katie embraces being able to move around the country and live in different locations
• Getting the news they would be posting to Tindal and why Katie cried
• Deciding to make the most out of their remote posting to Tindal despite all they had heard
• Why the Tindal defence community and all it has to offer has been a highlight of the posting
• Living in the married patch and the advantages of having other defence families so close
• How embracing her love of writing led Katie to self publish a book and has given her a new focus
• Why Katie wants to highlight the positives of a posting to Tindal so others don’t fear it like she did

If you would like to follow Katie’s blog click here or to purchase her book Ember the Dragon click here

Military Wife Life- Episode 85

1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage. The vast majority of miscarriages will happen in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, often at a time when the exciting and happy news has only been shared with a few friends and family members if any.

It can be a lonely time. There is often no answers as to why you experience a miscarriage or anything you can do to prevent one.

Today seven brave spouses are sharing their journey to becoming pregnant, the extra complexities defence life adds to starting or expanding a family, their heartbreaking miscarriage experiences and coping with the isolation and grief that follows.

Experiencing the loss of a baby brings with it an indescribable ache that is always there. With time, you might learn to live with that ache but it never goes away. You never get over the baby you so very much wanted and imagined and planned a future for.

Morgan, Toni, Rose, Emily, Jess, Brooke and Sam all hope that this podcast episode will allow others who have also experienced a miscarriage to feel that little bit less alone or that it may help someone who experience’s a miscarriage in years to come, to understand that there are others out there who walk beside you in your grief.

These are their stories.

TRIGGER WARNING- Today’s episode contains discussion of miscarriage. If anything comes up for you and you would like to access support you can call SANDS on 1300 072 637 or Open Arms on 1800 011 046 24 hours/7 days a week.

Some other useful support services are linked below;

https://www.pinkelephants.org.au/

https://www.pregnancylossaustralia.org.au/

https://rednosegriefandloss.org.au/support/section/C378

Military Wife Life- Episode 84

Belinda and I talk about;

• The support Bravery Trust offer Veterans who have a physical injury or mental illness as a result of their service
• Why Bravery Trust offers financial support to Veterans and their families during and after their service
• When a Veteran or Spouse should put their hand up for financial assistance
• Why financial problems often hinder a Veterans recovery from a physical or mental illness
• The immediate support Bravery Trust offers and why long term financial education is key
• Types of financial support they offer, from helping get your car back on the road to putting food on the table
• Why seeking support before reaching crisis point is encouraged by Bravery Trust
• The investment Bravery Trust has made in a pilot financial counselling program
• Why Bravery Trust hope their financial counselling program will continue  
• The importance of providing a collaborative approach with key Veteran organisations
• How ADF families access support and the simple process of receiving financial help

To access financial support through Bravery Trust you can call 1800 272 837 or visit their website https://www.braverytrust.org.au/

Military Wife Life- Episode 83

We also talk about;

• what happened when they met each other just 10 days before Jai was due to deploy
• some of the things a defence member thinks about before getting into a relationship
• how they used email to build a strong foundation before Jai returned from deployment 
• an unexpected injury for Jai, the 9 month rehab and why there was a silver lining
• another deployment, planning a wedding, and returning to a new house
• good communication and how it made Jai’s transition back home easier
• MWDU, COVID and the significant impact border closures have had on their lives 
• accepting the COVID situation and trying to stay flexible with plans
• focusing on long term goals to stay connected and moving forward

Military Wife Life- Episode 82

Kim and I also talk about;

• what happens when defence suddenly becomes part of your plan
• a not-so-great first move and why Kim didn’t let it set the tone for spouse life
• her husband deploying a month into their first posting
• how Kim used that first deployment to establish a friend network
• navigating finding work as a spouse in an area where jobs are scarce
• how their family cope with sea postings every 2 years
• communicating your needs with the military member when they’re home
• being able to hand some of the mental load over to her husband when he is home
• connecting with the defence community and the importance of spouse support
• taking the time to acknowledge your feelings when plans change and moving forward

Military Wife Life- Episode 81

Ash and I also talk about;

• why having a friendship before dating her now-husband created a great foundation
• how working on base gave Ash an understanding of how military works
• going from working on base with her husband to being a stay at home mum and business owner
• why Ash decided to buy a business and the huge changes working for yourself brings
• their next posting and looking forward to having family and friend support
• being a defence spouse with a physical disability, finding suitable housing and doctors in location

To check out and support Ash’s business, pop over to her website Defence Gifts

Military Wife Life- Episode 80

Bianca and I also talk about;

• coping with all that comes with IVF when your Husband is away
• why it took multiple rounds of IVF, surgeries and 3 doctors to try something out of the box
• the conversation with a long lost friend that would be the reason she would finally fall pregnant
• how she kept faith for 12 years before eventually becoming a Mum
• why she feels being a defence kid herself will give her a deeper understanding of her daughter’s experience
• the positives and negatives of being a defence kid and what she plans on doing differently

Military Wife Life- Episode 79

Sarah and I also talk about;

• the injuries that have kept her Husband home for the majority of their relationship
• why having support from her husband’s rehab unit made all the difference
• waiting on their next posting and what it means for their blended family
• why choosing to live separated may be their only and best option in the future
• the positive impact Open Arms has had on their relationship and their family
• why support from the spouse community has been invaluable for Sarah
• the unknown and looking at her Husband discharging to keep their family together

Military Wife Life- Episode 78

Mel and I also talk about;

• What it’s like when your Husband deploys every two years
• Her Husband’s decision to be proactive in seeking mental health support
• Why a service dog was the right fit for her Husband and their family
• The Defence Community Dog program and the support the Defence Bank Foundation gives the program
• The impact Maxx has had on her Husband’s everyday life and their family life
• The type of support Maxx provides and why Mel being the third wheel is a good thing

Maxx was matched with Damien through the Defence Community Dog Program, a program that is funded by the Defence Bank Foundation

The DCD program provides highly trained service dogs to serving and ex-serving ADF members who need support to deal with injuries and illnesses including Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.

Every dog in the program is rescued from a pound or shelter and trained at the Bathurst Correctional Centre with the assistance of professional dog trainers and inmates at the centre.

Military Wife Life- Episode 77

Renee and I also talk about;

• How she and her husband met, by chance, at a swing dance class
• Why her husband wanting to apply for the Air Force was a joint decision
• The stability defence offered their family at a time of uncertainty
• Why her husband joined as a reservist and then went full time and why she wouldn’t recommend that path
• What is required, day to day, of a Military Police Officer, time away and deployments
• Posting around the country and reinventing herself a little at each new location
• Her passion for swing dance and writing and how they have both helped her at various points

To find out how you can purchase one of Renee’s books click here for details.

Military Wife Life- Episode 76

Cath and I also talk about;

• How the Choir went from being a handful of people in Canberra to 12 locations around Australia
• Why the Choir is about what we do as spouses rather than what our military partners do at work
• How the Choir creates a safe space for spouses and why all singing abilities are welcome
• Why the Choir isn’t about rank or service and the main focus is about connection and social inclusion
• How COVID restrictions resulted in zoom rehearsals and even greater access for those wanting to join
• Where to get involved and the types of songs they sing *hint, hint the Choir is far from boring when it comes to song choice, think Tay Tay and Bruno Mars).

To find out how you can join your local AMWChoir or to find out more about the AMWChoir click through to the website for details https://www.amwchoir.com/

Military Wife Life- Episode 75

Zoe and I also talk about;

• Why keeping busy was key while her Husband was away doing his initial training
• Her first posting experience only a few hours from home
• Being flexible with her work options & open to posting around Australia
• Finding out about support & DCO years into her spouse journey
• A deployment, bushfire assist & COVID tasking all in 12 months
• The toll frequent separations have had on her, her husband and their son
• Why the unpredictable nature of defence life has meant she has been unable to return to work
• Her husbands transition home after being gone 8 out of 12 months
• The struggle of living together again and her surprise at how hard that can be
• Her positive outlook on posting, work-life and future separations

Military Wife Life- Episode 74

Defence Bank‘s Stuart Payne, Celia Cannavan and Emma Dalglish talk us through;

• Budgeting and how to work out our money goals
• How to make use of free helpful resources like https://moneysmart.gov.au/
• How to come up with an achievable savings plan
• Credit Cards and why you should pay more than the minimum
• Credit scores explained and how using facilities like afterpay can impact it
• Simple steps you can take to help your credit score
• Investing and how to work out which type is right for you
• Your super and the ways you can boost it even when self-employed or unemployed

PLEASE NOTE: Any information and advice offered in this episode is not intended to replace more in-depth consultation with your chosen bank or financial advisor but it is to set you on the path to researching more about budgeting, money goals, credit cards and credit scores, investing and super contributions. You and your military member need to consider all options and do what’s right for you and your family.

Military Wife Life- Episode 73

Lauren and I also talk about;

• What changes when you’re no longer full time defence
• How it works when your partner is now a reservist
• The freedom and opportunities reserve time brings for the whole family
• Why they decided to go back to being a full time defence family
• How COVID played into their decision
• Why Lauren decided against going MWDU
• What that now means for the future plans they had made
• Why making the decision to post interstate was the hardest one yet

Military Wife Life- Episode 72

I talk to Community Engagement Manager, Sarah Hartley about;

• Why they introduced a program just for defence kids
• What the Kookaburra Kids Defence Kids Program is all about
• Why age-appropriate prevention and early intervention mental health services are important
• Why support for kids living in families affected by mental illness makes a difference
• How Kookaburra Kids make use of a peer-based social and activity-based format to help kids
• Why you DON’T need a formal mental health diagnosis to access support for your kids
• What other programs Kookaburra Kids offers and the online option defence kids can access

To find out more info about the Kookaburra Kids Foundation or to access their programs visit their website www.kookaburrakids.org.au

Military Wife Life- Episode 71

Morgan and I talk about;

• The 18 month wait for her partner to leave for initial training
• The transition from civilian couple to a military couple
• Her partner leaving for Cerberus and having no contact
• Morgan’s last-minute decision to move with her partner while he completed IET’s
• Not being able to find work and the impact that had on their relationship
• Their first posting to Sydney and first deployment experience
• What happened when Morgan found out she was pregnant just weeks into the deployment
• Making plans to move back to be with family while she was pregnant
• Experiencing a miscarriage with no close friends or family in location
• How her miscarriage created a fast friendship with another spouse
• The support Morgan received from her partner’s ship, chaplain and defence
• Her partner’s emergency trip home to support her through the miscarriage
• Posting back to their home state and how friendships changed
• What now and what Morgan has learnt along the way

TRIGGER WARNING- This podcast episode talks about miscarriage. If this episode brings anything up for you or you feel you need to reach out for support please call the FREE counselling service OPEN ARMS. This service is available to spouses, ADF members and Veterans 24/7 on 1800 011 046.

Military Wife Life- Episode 70

I talk to National Manager of Open Arms, Dr Stephanie Hodson about;

• Who can access support and services through Open Arms
• Why the service changed its name from VVCS to Open Arms
• What type of support you can access in-person and over the phone
• When you should reach out for support & some signs to look out for 
• How to access Open Arms support and services and the process
• Why accessing Open Arms, before you reach breaking point, is encouraged
• The resources and programs available to the military community via Open Arms

Open Arms is a 24-hour, 7 day a week service. For further information or to access support and services, you can call 1800 011 046.

Please note: Anyone who has served at least one day in the ADF, their spouses and families can access support via Open Arms. Even if you are new to military life and haven’t completed your paperwork (to be recognised as a couple) you can still reach out for support and Open Arms will talk you through whatever you are struggling with and also, if needed, refer you onto other services.

Military Wife Life- Episode 69

• Her military member being sent to Iraq in the first year of their relationship
• Some of the differences between the British and Australian military
• Why a lot of military families choose MWDU in the UK
• What it was like to move to Australia and find her feet in Oz
• How COVID and living in Victoria during lockdown has impacted their Australian Posting experience
• Her positive review of living on base at Puckapunyal
• The uncertainty surrounding when they will be allowed to post out
• Why Cheryl isn’t rushing to return home and is happy to stay in Australia longer

Military Wife Life- Episode 68

Dr Rogers focused her PhD studies on giving 2-5 year old defence kids a voice by centring her research around deployment, separation, how kids in the 2-5 year old age bracket are affected and how they can be best supported.

• Collecting the data from the defence kids using the mosaic approach which allowed them to engage in art-based activities and prompt talk about what was going on at home.
• Why her research looked at the problem’s families had rather than the ways families coped and got support.
• How her research led her to discover there are very few Australian resources to help 2-5 year old’s from defence families.
• Why focusing research on the 2-5 year old age bracket will lead to better outcomes for those kids in the future
• Her surprise at finding out that there are no known early childhood programs for educators and parents of defence kids.
• Her key research findings and her hope that her recommendations will have a real impact on improving the experience of 2-5 year old defence kids
• How she is using those findings to build resources and programs to help defence kids & families and how you can access those for FREE
• Future plans and how you and your child can get involved in Dr Rogers research and help shape future help and support

To access Dr Rogers research findings, free resources and programs visit the Early Childhood Defence Programs page here https://ecdefenceprograms.com/

Military Wife Life- Episode 67

Jess and I also talk about;

• How she went from having no connection to defence to being engaged, married with two kids and on a first posting in under 4 years
• Being naive to the reality of what being a defence spouse would mean because of the “love bubble” effect
• Still trying to come to terms with the idea of being a defence family even after moving to their first posting location
• Feeling like they aren’t a real defence family because they haven’t experienced separation or deployment yet
• COVID and the impact it has had on making connections and finding supports in her new location
• Coming to terms with accessing help and accepting that she is entitled to support no matter what her situation
• Acknowledging her feelings are valid even if it seems like someone else has it harder than her
• Excitement at being able to get out into the community and make friends and supports when COVID restrictions ease

Military Wife Life- Episode 66

Belinda and I also talk about;

• How she juggles career, family and separation alongside her husband David’s role as Vice Chief of the Defence Force
• What being Patron of the Defence Community Organisation involves and why she looks forward to connecting with more spouses and families
• Acknowledging the various types of ADF families and why they should access supports and services via DCO
• The balance of being a spouse and also adapting to now being the parent of an ADF member
• Taking on different roles at different times and seeing the good in each posting location
• The importance of making connections and getting out into the community

Military Wife Life- Episode 65

Military Wife Life- Episode 64

But if you’re like me, you have so many questions (so many) and a military member who isn’t really down for providing ALL of the answers!

Sometime’s you just need it explained in plain old non-military speak which is why Defence Bank’s Kym Bowles and I talk you through all of the potential grants and ADF schemes you (aka your military member) may be able to apply for when it comes to buying a house.

Military Wife Life- Episode 63

Military Wife Life- Episode 62

She isn’t a spouse. She, at the time, had no prior connection to Defence but what she would go on to do in the Defence space, back in the 1980’s, would result in so many of the services and conditions provided for all of us today.

Her name is Sue Hamilton and she is the author of what would go on to be known as the Hamilton Report. A report that was the first of its kind. A report that identified all of the issues that service in the Australian Defence Force creates for the spouses and families of its members.

There was nothing like it before and dare I say there has been nothing like it since.

In this episode I talk to Sue about;

* Her journey around the country to talk to spouses

* The key issues that were identified back then and still (to a certain extent) exist today

* How a number of serendipitous events and key people resulted in her report recommendations being implemented

* Why she is still so passionate about advocating for Defence families

* How Defence can and should adapt to meet the needs of the 2020 spouse and defence family

* Why the Government’s announcement of an increase in the ADF’s capability should signal a shift in the way and type of support offered to spouses and families

Military Wife Life- Episode 61

Military Wife Life- Episode 60

Military Wife Life- Episode 59

Military Wife Life- Episode 58

Military Wife Life- Episode 57

Military Wife Life- Episode 56

Military Wife Life- Episode 55

Military Wife Life- Episode 54

Military Wife Life- Episode 53

It’s an area that almost all ADF partners will face challenges in at one point or another whether it be because of relocation, unconscious employer bias, the extra responsibilities we take on that may restrict us and our capacity and the list goes on.

The last ADF families survey showed 14% of partners are unemployed (double the unemployment average), 12% are underemployed and 81% say they have made employment sacrifices because of their partner’s ADF career and those stats were collected in 2017 pre COVID.

But behind the scenes there are people working to break down employment barriers for partners. People like the team at Defence Families Australia who advocate for more initiatives to assist partners to gain and maintain meaningful employment and are working to educate Australian businesses on what they can do to recruit, hire and retain partners as valuable employees.

People like national employer Defence Bank who, in 2019 received the PM’S Excellence in Supporting Spouse Employment award and have also made it their mission to go above and beyond not just ticking the boxes of being a partner friendly employer but providing partners with next level career support, benefits and workplace policy.

And people like Career Practitioner, Churchill fellow and Partner Amanda McCue who is leading the way in this space with her research into partner employment overseas in the hope of improving employment outcomes for Australian partners.

Military Wife Life- Episode 52 (Part 2)

Last week, in Part 1 of episode 52, Sarah talked about how her last minute decision to join her Husband in a regional location ended up resulting in a diagnosis for her son and uncovering his “mysterious” medical condition. Sarah walked us through the process of becoming recognised as a family with special needs and what happens when they post. We also talked about Sarah’s determination to continue her teaching career in various locations across the country despite the many curve balls her family have been thrown.

This week Sarah will talk us through her husband’s sudden breakdown and admission to hospital, how she supported him throughout that time and his PTSD diagnosis. We talk about what happens when you’re suddenly looking at discharge from Defence. How she is able to see the silver lining no matter what situation her family is in and what she’s looking forward to when they post back to their forever home and support network in Queensland.

Today’s episode contains discussion of PTSD and Mental Health. If anything comes up for you and you would like to access support there are various options available;

Counselling- Call Open Arms day or night (7 days) on 1800 011 046

The Defence Family Helpline day or night (7 days) on 1800 624 608

Chaplains, All services- To contact a Chaplain please call the Defence Service Centre on 1800 333 362 and ask for the Duty Chaplain in your area.

Military Wife Life- Episode 52 (Part 1)

Next week, Part 2 of this episode- Sarah will talk us through her husbands admission to hospital and how she supported him throughout that time. His PTSD diagnosis. What happens when you’re suddenly looking at discharge from Defence. How she is able to see the silver lining no matter what situation her family is in and what she’s looking forward to when they post back to their home and support network in Queensland.

Military Wife Life- Episode 51

I also talk with former spouse Sarah who has recently left a 15 year abusive relationship. Sarah walks us through her DV experience. She talks about the red flags she didn’t recognise, how alone she sometimes felt, how and why she finally left, the support she accessed and her life now.

Please note: Sarah’s name and voice have been changed to protect her families identity.

*TRIGGER WARNING*
Todays episode contains discussion of domestic violence. If anything comes up for you and you would like to access support there are various options available to Australian Military Spouses.

Sexual assault, domestic/family violence and abuse support- Call 1800 RESPECT day or night (7 days)

Counselling- Call Open Arms day or night (7 days) on 1800 011 046

To access emergency accommodation via SAFE (Special Accommodation for Emergencies scheme)- Call the Defence Family Helpline on 1800 624 608

– Defence Families of Australia can also offer support. To find your area’s DFA rep visit www.dfa.org.au or you can access a useful information here https://dfa.org.au/2018/12/22/domestic-violence/

Chaplains, All services- To contact a Chaplain please call the Defence Service Centre on 1800 333 362 and ask for the Duty Chaplain in your area.

Mensline– A telephone and online counselling service for men with emotional health and relationship concerns Call 1300 78 99 78.

Military Wife Life- Episode 50

Today’s episode is made up of some of the best moments from past episodes in celebration of the podcasts 50th episode. This week we also hit 20k downloads and this month marks ONE year since the MWL podcast started.

So, so, so much to celebrate but what those milestones actually mean is that for one year the MWL community has been supporting me and has been supporting you. That we have all listened to 50 episodes of spouses telling their stories and allowing them to be seen and heard. That for over 50 episodes we have shared in the ups and downs of military life, felt that little bit less alone, listened to the advice and wisdom of other spouses and most importantly connected.

So get comfy and enjoy listening to episode 50 of the podcast!

Military Wife Life- Episode 49

Military Wife Life- Episode 48

Military Wife Life- Episode 47

Military Wife Life- Episode 46

Military Wife Life- PART 3 Current Info & Support for ADF families during COVID19

Military Wife Life- PART 2 Current Info & Support for ADF families during COVID19

Military Wife Life- PART 1 Current Info & Support for ADF families during COVID19

https://www.defencebank.com.au/financialhardship

Military Wife Life- Episode 45

PLEASE NOTE: This episode was recorded before the COVID 19 crisis but a lot of the advice and information can also be applied to what us, as spouses, may be going through and feeling at the moment.

If you would like to connect with Dr Lowinger you can do so via her website www.sydneyanxietyclinic.com/

Military Wife Life- Episode 44

The DCD program provides highly trained service dogs to serving and ex-serving ADF members who need support to deal with injuries and illnesses including Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Every dog in the program is rescued from a pound or shelter and trained at the Bathurst Correctional Centre with the assistance of professional dog trainers and inmates at the centre.

Military Wife Life- Episode 43

Military Wife Life- Episode 42

You can find out more about what Claire is doing via CoworkCoplay.space or CoworkCoplay on Facebook.

Military Wife Life- Episode 41

Military Wife Life- Episode 40

To find out more information about DCO and what they offer visit www.defence.gov.au/dco or to make use of the 24 hour Defence Family Hotline call 1800 624 608. Families don’t have to wait until they are facing difficulties to contact the helpline. The helpline can provide information and advice 24-7, everyday of the year.

Military Wife Life- Episode 39

Military Wife Life- Episode 38

To learn more about Jess’s business look her up on Instagram @jaylee_photography or visit her website www.jaylee-photography.com.au

Military Wife Life- Episode 37

To learn more about what Kat John does look her up on Instagram @kat.john or visit her website www.katjohn.com.au

Military Wife Life- Episode 36

Military Wife Life- Episode 35

Military Wife Life- Episode 34

If you would like to connect with Dr Lowinger you can do so via her website www.sydneyanxietyclinic.com/

Military Wife Life- Episode 33

Military Wife Life- Episode 32

Steph talks about finding her spouse tribe in her new location and the support they have shown her despite not knowing each other very long.

Steph also talks about an issue that isn’t often highlighted and that is the struggle to get back to visit family, especially her sick Mum, when you have only been in a job a short time and haven’t built up enough leave. The struggle is real for so many of us, being so far from family and friends and not having the leave or the finances to be able to get back home as much as we need or would like to.

Military Wife Life- Episode 31 Part 2

If you would like to find out more about Tara’s virtual decluttering plans and Life Coaching you can get in contact via www.basklifecoaching.com.au or you can listen in to Tara’s podcast called Be Uncluttered . Tara, along with her co-host Rebecca Mezzino, discuss all things decluttering and how you can live a simplified life.

Military Wife Life- Episode 31 Part 1

Military Wife Life- Episode 30

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 29

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 28

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 27

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 26

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 25

Amy’s research led her to come up with the notion of a  ‘perfect partner’– the expectation that a military spouse is someone who is happily keeping the family fires burning, looking after 2.5 kids, not working and following the military member from post to post.

While that may be the case at certain points in our spouse experience, in 2019 it isn’t always the typical experience and a majority of spouses don’t want that to be their experience. 

Amy talks about how the outdated image and idea of a ‘perfect partner’ place’s unreasonable demands on spouses and sometimes deters them from reaching out and accessing support.

Amy hopes her research will have an impact on dispelling this outdated ‘perfect partner’ image not just within the ADF community but also the wider community.

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 24

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 23

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 22

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 21

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 20

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 19

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 18

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 17

Bec also spoke about the harsh reality that leaving her children with their Dad may just end up being the best decision she can make for them for their stability and their schooling. I thank Bec for being so open, honest and brave in this episode and really letting us all know about some of the complex, tough, unspoken decisions that so many spouses with blended families face.

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 16

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 15

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 14

We are all in this together!

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 13

PLEASE NOTE- Soon after recording this episode the PEAP funding was changed a little. You now have 24 months (from when you get your posting orders) to make use of it instead of 12 months.

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 12 PART 2

To hear more about Luke’s charity Heroes on the Homefront click on this link www.hearts4heros.com.au/

If you are interested in finding out more information about assistance dogs through the Royal Society for the Blind’s program Operation K9 you can do so by clicking on this link www.rsb.org.au/operation-k9

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 12 PART 1

Luke put his hand up for help and Kiri says she will forever be grateful and proud of him for that. It has been a long road to healing but Kiri stood strong beside Luke even when he wanted to walk away. This is Part 1 of their story.

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 11

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 10

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 9

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 8

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 7

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 6

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 5

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 4

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 3

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 2

Military Wife Life- The Podcast Episode 1

In Episode 1 I talk to trained art teacher, beach lover, plant obsessed, chai latte addict Natalie about the highs and lows of military life. Natalie has experienced separation, multiple deployments, surprise pregnancies, mental health struggles and so much more in the 15+ years she has been a Navy Spouse.

If anything we touched on in this episode has prompted you to want to seek help or support please keep the following contacts in mind.

24 hour support via the Defence Family Helpline 1800 624 608

Your local GP and your local DCO office

You can also access 24 hour support via Open Arms helpline 1800 011 046

Military Wife Life- The Podcast INTRODUCTION